Hey guys, this is TheReddestHood here. This is an original (yet heavily inflenced) story based off of (black) Nick Fury, and the blaxploitation films of the 70's. If you do not know what that means then wikipedia that shit immediately andwatch Centric (Shaft and Black Dynamite are always on there). So withut further ado I give you...
NICK FURY: THE (3rd) SUPER SOLIDER
(WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE)
1972, Vietnam, Jungle, American Army Base, Night, 10:06:05, 60˚F, Cool Breeze, Clear Skies, Great Weather, Was Hot as Hell Earlier, Seriously, Alright I’m done now, Or am I?
“Seargent Nicholas Fury. He’s one of the best in our army…Who am I kidding he IS the best.” General Tom Huffington says. Huffington is an older man. He’s around 5’10 and has lost most of his muscle tone. He has grey hair and a very obvious grey hairpiece sitting on the top of his head.
“If he’s so great, why is he a Seargent? According to what you’ve been saying he should have YOUR job General. Maybe you’re trying to prevent that.” says Colonel James Hatcher. Hatcher is a lighter toned black guy. He has a buzz cut and is fit, but not very, very built.
“Did anybody ask you?” Huffington asked “…hmm…no answer…that’s what I FREAKING THOUGHT!!”
Hatcher frowns. He rolls his eyes and mumbles”…son of a bit-“
“IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE I WILL KILL YOU SO HARD YOUR…your…well, I’LL KILL YOU!!!” Huffington says, interrupting Hatcher. Hatcher’s eyes begin to water and he starts to sniffle. Tears slowly start trickling down his face.
“…are you crying…ah shit! Hey, I’m sorry Hatcher…sorry that you’re a little bitch!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OOH HE HAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!” Huffington continues to laugh hysterically as hatcher is still crying like the little bitch he is. As hatcher reaches climax (pause…not that climax. The climax of his crying), his eyes widen and his crying comes to an immediate halt.
“Uh…uh, sir.” Hatcher mutters. Huffington still is cracking up. He starts to cry tears of laughter because of the humor he finds in himself.
“Sir, I um…you might wanna” Hatcher says in a louder tone. Huffington is still laughing.
“SIR LOOK!!!!” Hatcher says as he points behind Huffington’s back. Huffington looks around and sees a chair flying at the window. Hatcher and Huffington quickly duck down as the table smashes through the glass. The chair brushes against the top of Huntington’s head scraping his hairpiece back, making him fairly look like Donald trump without a comb over.
“Ha! Now I can SEE who the jive ass mother[frick]er's who are tryna catch me, REALLY are!!!” says a tall African American man.
He has a small afro, a mustache and a goatee. He’s about 6’3 and is RIPPED. He’s wearing a beige button down shirt (unbuttoned of course, cause he’s the SHIT) with beige pants and brown boots. Now this isn’t what he wears on any typical day. If it was up to him he’d be wearing a black leather trench coat, with a black shirt, black pants, black boots and to top it all of black shades. He ain’t a panther though. Let’s get that straight. He just likes black! Who is this man…no not the old spice guy…not Shaft...Nick Fury! He’s a BADASS MOFO.
“Tryna interrogate me.
Who do you think you are, the pig, the five-0? You don’t deserve to even look at me! Y’all crackers tripping!” Fury yells at the soldiers from the interrogation room.
“Ha! You must be mistaken! I’m not a cracker, hahaha!” Colonel Hatcher says “I’m fully black!”
“How would you typically greet someone?” Fury asks
“Well I’d say ‘Hello, how are you today?’” Hatcher responds
“You a cracker.” Fury says. Fury heads for the door. He almost trips over Colonel Arnold Jackson who’s lying unconscious on the ground... “You might wanna check his pulse. I'm Audi 5000!”
Fury throws up the peace sign as he walks towards the door. He opens the door and standing at the door is a woman. A FINE woman. She has caramel colored skin and a big afro. She's sporting a red jump-suit (showing off all KINDS of cleavage) as she points a gun at Fury’s chest.
“Don’t worry” she says to Fury “This will only hurt…A LOT” She pulls the trigger and out comes a tranquilizer dart. Fury falls to the ground and passes out.
Fury wakes up tied down to a platform. The platform is above an empty pool like construct. Fury tosses and turns trying to break free.
“Where am I? Wh-What is going on! I want answers, NOW!” Fury demands.
“Now, now Mr. Fury. We don’t need to be little banshees do we?" a man says as he steps belwo a bright light shining on Fury. "Though, you really can’t help it. You monkeys do belong in the wild.” the man continues.
Fury grits his teeth and is thinking of 1,000,000 things to say back to his racist ass right about now. Fury can only make out his silhouette, and sees that the man has a hunch back. He’s about 5’5 and is wearing very loose clothes. He holds a remote in his hand.
The man begins to laugh…maniacally. He approaches Fury slowly. The man extends his arm putting the remote in Fury’s face. His thumb comes down on a red button in the center of the remote. Right before his thumb presses down he pauses.
“You know what? You’re probably wondering what you’re doing here. What this place is. What is your purpose in life? “
“I don’t know my purpose in life, but my purpose right now is kicking yo’ ASS!”
The man chuckles.
“While you’re strapped down like that? I’m afraid this time brain wins over brawn Nicholas." the man says
“Don’t be scared, I’m not trying to kill you. Of course there is a 50% chance
that you will be killed in this process, but that means there’s also a 50% chance you won’t die and you’ll come out better than before.”
“Better than before…what…?” Fury asks very confused.
“Have patience Nicholas. Now as I was saying, you have been selected to take part in the new and improved Super Soldier Program. This program was designed to take normal people and turn them into, the perfect homo-sapien. All your senses will be enhanced, along with your intelligence and your physical health. You will be stronger, faster, smarter, better. You will be the epitome of astonishing. Now we didn’t do this just to be kind and generous. We need you in this war, and for future ones. Your aging will be slowed down immensely much. You will be celebrating your 40th birthday in 2012. I will tell you in detail about your abilities as a Super Soldier once the process has been finished. Good luck.”
The man steps back and begins to walk away.
“Wait! In case I don’t make it out alive, I wanna know the name of the cracker that killed me” Fury tells the man
“Dr. McGregor.” the man responds.
“What kinda punk ass name is that?” Fury whispers.
McGregor presses the button. The platform lowers into the pool. The top of the pool seals shut. A blue liquid begins to flow into the pool until the pool is completely filled. Then everything goes black.
The top of the pool opens up. The platform rises. McGregor walks up to the platform and check Fury’s pulse. McGregor says “…another failure…” As McGregor walks away, Fury jumps up breaking the restraints easily. Fury hops off of the platform.
“How do you feel?” McGregor asks
“I feel…the sme” Fury says anti-climatically
“You should feel amazing! Maybe it was a failure....” McGregor says disappointingly
“Haha! Just kidding cracker jack! Calm down. I feel awesome”
“This isn’t a joking matter. You have the potential to change history Nicholas.” McGregor says.
“Can you stop calling me Nicholas? Just call me Nick or Fury” Fury tells McGregor
“Whatever you say Nicholas.” McGregor says with a slight smirk on his face.
“I really hate yo ass right now. Anyway, I guess I’m the first Super Soldier!” Fury boasts as he flexes.
“Umm, no. That was Captain America.” McGregor retorts.
“Well, I’m the first BLACK Super Soldier!” Fury brags as he proceeds to flex.
“That was Isaiah Bradley.” McGregor responds.
“Well…I’m the first…you know what forget this! When do I get my first mission?” Fury asks.
“First, you need to go through training. You'll need to-” As McGregor explains, a siren goes off. All the lights turn red. A soldier comes running in the room.
“They got in! The enemy soldiers are attacking the base!” The soldier shouts
“Scratch that training Fury, your 1st mission starts now” McGregor says
“YEAH!” Fury shouts “You finally called me Fury!”
Fury darts out of the tent, looking for enemy soldiers. He keeps running and running still failing to find any soldiers. He begins to think; where are the soldiers? Did they leave? Is this a trap? He comes around the corner of a tent, and there are the soldiers. Some have pistols, some have automatic weapons. Some have machete’s some only have their bare fist. Fury only has his fist also…his SUPER SOLDIER FIST!!!!!!!
Fury gets in his Kung-Fu stance. He survey’s his surroundings and takes it all in.
He charges for a soldier and proceeds to roundhouse kick him in the face. The rest of the soldiers (with guns) start shooting. As the bullets hit Fury they bounce right off of him and do no harm. Fury punches and kicks and throws the soldiers. Kick to the balls, punch to the face, kick in the neck, punch in the jaw, kick to the gut, punch to the chest! He kicked they sorry little Vietnamese ASSES.
Fury walks away from the battle once again strutting his stuff. I'm supafly!!! he thinks.
“HEY! PUNK ASS [racial slur]!” He hears in a high pitched Vietnamese accent. Fury turns around expecting a puny soldier. He gets a soldier about 7 feet tall who has HUGE muscles.
“Dafuq you just call me?” Fury asks
“Punk. ASS. [racial slur]” The Vietnamese says. “Whatchu gonna do about it?” Fury’s eyes narrow. He participates in a stair down with the Vietnamese guy. The Vietnamese guy runs towards Fury yelling “BONZAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!”
Fury charges screaming “FURY FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!!!!!!!!!!!” The Vietnamese guy uppercuts Fury, sending him flying up. Fury lands on top of a tent, crushing it, and gets up unscathed.
“You might be a Vietnamese Hercules, but I’m finna kick yo ASS with ease!” Fury rhymess as he charges for Hercules. Hercules throws a punch. Fury catches his fist. He twists his arm. Right before it breaks he launches in the air and kicks Hercules in the nose. Hercules staggers back, but regains his footing; only to be repeatedly punched in the stomach by Fury. Hercules falls backwards. Fury jumps up and lands hard on Hercules’s stomach causing him to cough up a lot of blood. Fury stomps Hercules in the balls then picks him up and throws him into the side of a tent.
“Fury don’t take shit from NOBODY!!!” Fury says “Not you, not my friends, not my family, not my enemies, not strangers, NOBODY!!! Only person that could give Nick Fury shit is black Jesus, but black Jesus don’t give me no shit! You dig?”
The soldier cries and says ”I....I....I dig.....”
Fury smiles, turns around, and begins to walk away, as James Brown plays in his head. Why this? Because James Brown is a supabad. Nick Fury, is SUPABADASS