Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, Iceman, Emma Frost, Beast and Prof. X. are gathered around the table for Christmas dinner. They are chatting amongst themselves. Xavier sits at the head of the long table. Wolverine to his right, Beast to his left. Cyclops sits opposite him, with Emma on his right and Storm on his left. Iceman sits beside Wolverine and Storm, with an empty chair across from him, but it is set for someone to sit there. Wolverine and Beast decide to break open a Christmas cracker. Beast wins. (Note to yourselves, read Beast in Kelsey Grammer's voice).
Beast: Oh, for God's sake, now I have to endure this pathetic attempt at wit! (He pulls the joke out of the Christmas cracker). What do you call a ship with the shivers?
Wolverine: Hit me.
Beast: A nervous wreck... are these designed to depress people? Or maybe perhaps even drive them to insanity? My stars and garters, it's an awful world we live in.
Shadowcat appears through the wall carrying two trays of food. She makes her way carefully to the table and sets the platters down. She takes her seat, lays out her napkin on her lap and takes her cutlery in her hands.
Shadowcat: Dig in, I guess.
Prof. X.: Everything looks wonderful, Kitty, it really does.
Wolverine: Looks mean nothing when it comes to food.
Emma Frost: Because of course, Logan, you'd eat something even if it was dripping with blood and faecal matter.
Wolverine: If it ended up tastin' good, then why the hell not?
Storm: You never cease to amaze me, Logan. Hand me the mashed potatoes, Bobby.
Iceman: Sure thing. (He passes the mashed potatoes to Storm). Say, why ain't T'Challa spending Christmas with us? He sick or something?
Storm: He's spending Christmas at Luke Cage's house. Their having a bit of a party.
Cyclops: And you weren't invited?
Storm: Of course, I was invited! But I'm not one for crowds, as I'm sure you know.
Cyclops: Crowds? Luke doesn't have that many friends.
Storm: Okay, fine, it's because the house is tiny and I'm afraid to go in.
Beast: You're still claustrophobic? That's rather odd, I could have sworn you got over that years ago.
Iceman: Anyway, Wolvie, how's being on every team ever workin' out for ya?
Wolverine: Bite me, Frosty.
Cyclops: Aw, did the dog catch cold? Oh, yeah, how's Wade, by the way, heard you two still haven't found places of your own.
Wolverine: One more word and you'll be catching more than a cold, boy scout.
The group stop eating. They all look at Logan with questionable looks on their faces.
Shadowcat: Did you hear what you just said?
Wolverine: Yeah, why? You think I'm not being serious.
Emma Frost: So, you realise what you're implying by saying that, right?
Wolverine: ... Okay, you lost me.
Beast leans over the table and whispers something into Wolverine's ear. His brow furrows with disgust.
Wolverine: Get'ch'er minds outta the gutter, I meant he'll be catchin' my claws in his chest.
Iceman: Yeah, sure.
Wolverine: You want me to k--
Nightcrawler BAMFs into the room. His eyes wide with terror.
Nightcrawler: You guys have to see ziss. Deadpool is making a Christmas speech on national television!
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About The Author:
I overthink pretty much anything to do with the MCU, but hey, we're allowed to speculate on these sorts of things right?