The team sit around a table onboard Ship. All of them, bar Star Lord, are very unimpressed with the proceedings. Star Lord is wearing his Christmas cracker paper crown. The others have their's in front of them.
Star Lord: Would you guys ever cheer the hell up? This is Christmas, for cryin' out loud, it's a time to be festive and jolly!
Groot: I am Groot...
Rocket: I agree with you, buddy, this blows majorly. I say, we hire some strippers and have a real fun time!
Gamora: You disgust me.
Rocket: Glad I could help, Drax, whatta you say, bud?
Drax grunts.
Rocket: Okay, that settles it. I know a place about a half a quadrant away! (He jumps down from the chair).
Star Lord: No! No strippers, that's about as far away from Christmas as possible. Okay, I got all of you guys presents to try and help the message get across to you. So, Rocky, this one's for you, my man.
Rocket: Aw, you shouldn't have! (He tears into the wrapped up box which is quite large). *gasp* A new gun!
He lifts up a gun that's nearly three times his size.
Star Lord: See how happy you are! Okay, Groot you're next, big guy.
He hands Groot a box, unwrapped, rectangular and quite flat.
Groot peels back the lid.
Groot: I am Groot! I am Groot, I am Groot? I. Am. Groot.
Rocket: What is it, big guy?
Groot pulls an Iron Man action figure from the box, and points at the rest of the contents.
Rocket: Really? Avengers action figures?
Star Lord: Shut up, Rocket, whatta you know?
Rocket: Groot wants to know why you got him such a useless gift.
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: Yeah, I told him for you, buddy.
Star Lord: Whatever, Gamora, here's you gift. I actually made this.
He hands her a sheathe patterned with spirals.
Gamora: Lovely. I'm sure I'll use it in the future.
Star Lord: Um, okay, last but by no means least, Drax old buddy old pal!
He stands up and gestures to a grindstone in the corner.
Drax: What is it?
Star Lord: It's a grindstone, for sharpening knives and blades.
Drax: I resent the notion that I'm a one dimensional entity that only cares about death and destruction. Screw you and your festive cheer, Quill.
There's a knock at the ship's door. The group are surprised, nobody ever visits them. Rocket gets up and opens the door, a force field activating as he does so. Galactus floats at the doorway.
Galactus: Is Quill there?
Rocket: Uh, yeah... Pete, it's Galactus, he wants to talk to you.
Star Lord: Tell 'im I'm not here.
Rocket: Not only did I just tell him you are here, but he can hear you.
Star Lord appears at the doorway. He shoves Rocket out of the way and tries to look assertive.
Star Lord: Yes, can I help you?
Galactus: Do you have wifi?
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About The Author:
I overthink pretty much anything to do with the MCU, but hey, we're allowed to speculate on these sorts of things right?