Captain Kirk:
James Tiberius Kirk here, I’m captain of the Enterprise
At my hands, this blonde-haired bitch is gonna meet his demise
I hook up with hot alien women and you kissed your own sister
I spit burns so hot, Vader won’t be the only one who looks crisper
I’ve traveled the stars, gone where none have gone before
While you’re too busy fighting stupid pointless wars
You’re just a whiny little brat with daddy issues
Stop crying boy, here, have yourself some tissues
Luke Skywalker:
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
A tight-shirt wearing captain reached the end of his days
Let’s try your little gun against my mighty lightsaber
Take some speech lessons, please, it’ll do us all a favor
I may have kissed my sister, but I heard you like to spoon with Spock
My rhymes are so cold, I leave you chillier than Hoth
Star Trek? Ha! More like Star Dreck!
This battle is a chess game, and I’m keeping you in check
Captain Kirk:
Get a clue kid, your rapping really stinks
I would have had a better fight with Jar Jar Binks
I’m a captain, do you even have a title?
After the prequels came out, your franchise was hurtin’ for a while
My whole crew would have no problem taking on your gang
That’s a big weapon you got, are you hiding something about your wang?
I just gave you a galactic beatdown and put you to work
Next time, think before challenging Captain James T. Kirk
Luke Skywalker:
You’re crew couldn’t beat us, we have the Force on our side
You’ll see that when the Millennium Falcon goes against your puny Enterprise
I’m a Jedi Master, and you just keep throwing a big fuss
Why else do you think Abrams left you and joined us?
You ain’t tough Kirk, you wear a hideous-looking toupee
Unlike yours, my saga will never die, and it’s here to stay
I’ll shove my light saber up your ass, and leave you with burning scars
Rest in peace Jimmy boy, I just won this war among the stars
Who won? You decide!
Thanks to RedHood13 for the suggestion!
For more battles, visit my DeviantArt page:
http://rockerdude22.deviantart.com/gallery/
Hint for next battle: It involves two masked men.